clouds

The most gorgeous stranger smiled at me today. He was on a date, it looked like. It made me a little happy anyway.

Taylor Swifts new album is so freaking awesome, it makes me want to host parties and take long drives and look at the stars and write a lot of songs. Literally. I think I just started writing a rap. Not that rapping has anything to with Taylor Swift. But really though, this album is special. It's new, with old inspiration. I'm probably not the right person to review an album.

Indecision.

Ok, I don't know why, but I felt like writing in English today, only drawback is that when I do it often ends up as something that doesn't make sense. I'm in this grey existence of in between-ness. It's not the best state to be in to be honest. Music makes me want to a lot of crazy shit (like smoke a lot of everything, and literally just not care about the things I should care about) but that's just because I'm so damn impressionable and I'm not a pure person. None of is. We're all put together by impressions of society. I'm not talking about drinking or drugs. I'm not talking about how pure your body is. I'm talking about the mind. Today a friend of mine said: "I'm working on saying 'I'd like to do that' and 'I'm gonna do that', instead of saying 'I have to', because you don't HAVE to do anything. The only thing you have to do during your life is dying." For me this is such a reassuring thought, because it couldn't be more true. If I want to quit everything I'm doing and just walk for a week straight and camp in the woods, I could. I have a will. I can actually decide what I wanna do. We all can. We should not fucking CARE about what others think, as long as what we're doing doesn't hurt anybody we care about. But sometimes I think even that's ok. It's all about self expression, and you can always express yourself in metaphors. Ok, now I'm babbling.

I'm so tired, I don't even think, I just write. I could probably write 10 pages now if I went for it.

Taylor's song "Welcome To New York" does remind me that I really wanna go to New York. I wanna be that little ambitious fucker thats so annoying and passionate, and that puts her soul into something.
There's so many people all over the world. I spent my weekend in Warsaw and the people there are different from norwegians. We also met some guys from Canada. Also different. Why does where we come from shape us? Or does it?
These words I put out here are just a mash of all the silver strings inside my head.
I'm gonna wrap this post up with writing; Why am I so lost? I loose find myself in music and books and places and people. How? When I return from my escape it's gray. In between.

Talk soon.