for you. it's nothing. for me. it's nothing.

Did you not get it? My eyes are closing, while I'm falling apart. I don't really want to write about sadness, but it's all that seems valuable in my this very moment.
Someone asked me how it went, but not the person I wanted to.

I'm in need to be fucked with. Fuck with my head even harder. Fuck with it so I have a reason.
My body.
Someone can have it.
Take it.
Leave it.
Touch it.
Sensual. Sexual.
Mad. Mad. Mad.

I repeat myself a lot. I think about long beaches and sun, while I, at the same time, think about who we're not anymore. Who I'm not not, and who I am. Melodramatic, tragic, in need of everything. Half adolescent, quarter 5 year old, quarter 80 year old. Lost in normality. Blue. Is a nice color. Turquoise. Girls and boys. Boys and girls. Girls. Boys. Apparently we're living in a black hole in and the universe is made out of four dimensions. Whatever that means. Someone should tell me that I'm ok, and that I didn't do anything wrong, but somehow ended up taking all the blame. Venus is the planet of pleasure and love. Mars is the planet of passion, energy and determination. I don't get how I ever turned out like an actual human being, and it amazes me. But it's nothing to it. I'm sure many people amazes you, who reads this, way more than I do, on a daily basis. But you don't have to think more about it. Neither do I. It's not your words.

I'm tired. I should go to sleep and stop reading about zodiac signs and astrology.

I found this (and lots more):
The sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy.
Sun in Aries
Has a strong personality and an entrepreneurial spirit. Is ambitious and self-willed, stubborn, obstinate and tenacious.
Weaknesses: nervousness, impulsiveness, wastefulness, provoking nature, restlessness and changeability.

I'm so sleepy. I can't see anymore. I think. Goodnight.